Finally ready for bed at a decent hour!

My day started with ignorance in Banning. I never thought using a credit card to pay for gas  would be so difficult for the cashier! She looked at my card as if it were a calculus quiz.  Then I went over to Starbucks for a delayed caffeine fix. The menu consisted of four different types of coffee drinks! Don't get me wrong, the more simple the coffee the better, but I did expect them to have the all fifty ridiculous styles of  'their spin' on Italian coffee. I wonder what happened to this chain. ?

Then, to kill time, I went to the hot springs for a much needed tanning session before the THREE HOUR Planned Parenting App. !?!? It was the most odd doctor's office I have ever been in. There was a glass guard between the receptionist and the patient and you had to speak to her through a two way phone that was hanging on the wall....Am I in jail!?

Then to the grocery store to get dinner for the family...Parent's 26th Anniversary. 

Cook.Clean.Bed!

Grandparents all week.  

Work.

Trying to schedule some shoots.

Exhausted...And to top it off, Mom's more stressed than I've seen her in years. The thought of my in-laws coming to visit makes her sick to her stomach. It seems that no matter what I do to help her, whether it be cleaning the entire house or making all the family get together arrangements and dinners, it just doesn't help her emotionally...After 25 yrs of marriage it seems like she'd just get used to them!?

The next day, in hell... I went with Lub to take his son to a little league baseball practice. The coach never showed but some of the other children did, so we played along. I was helping one of the toddlers practice his stance with the bat, and without a ball in sight he swung!?...Fuck, right into my knee! Lub made sure I had ice on it all afternoon and today I'm walking with a limp. That child has an amazing arm! 

They always seem to be fighting about something. Grow the fuck up, you're ruining my night! 

...
I want her ass, the one on the right.

As I waited for some drunks to sober up and leave my couch, this guy that I had met a couple of weeks ago who wasn't invited either, asked if I minded that he stayed. Why?... He told me he didn't feel right leaving me alone with drunk dudes passed out in my house while I was home alone. Awh. That's one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me in a long time. We stayed up till seven in the morning, just talking and laughing about work, life and relationships. Ends up he was on my Dad's Hot Shot crew a year ago...Something in common. I've always despised that type of guy. He was different.  


Still don't remember his name!!! lol

After a long night at work on Friday, I came home to a car blasting trance..."Where have you been?" I got changed out of my work clothes, in between shots of vodka, and went out to celebrate Chez's birthday. These girls will be the end of me someday!

After some local bar scene action, I invited them back to my house...I pulled up to six other cars parked around my house!...WTF? I LOVE this town! HAH.  

Where's my man to regulate when I need him!?!?

Happy Birthday, Chez Roll!

I found him while shoveling snow off my drive way. I shall call him squishy...what do caterpillars eat?

Dental appointment this morning...I mean dental disappointment. I was told today I have to have my wisdom teeth removed ASAP, before they ruin the thousands of dollars my parents spent on braces!

Wine and food tasting at 3pm for our new menu...AGAIN. FUCK! I just had the old menu memorized!

Then I have the house to myself all weekend...Use your imagination!

There has always been something that drives me...knowing someone is watching or knowing that someone could walk through the door at any moment. Anyway, Kitchen sex is the best to it's fullest. It's the worst feeling to see him drive away; even if  you know you'll see the him later..FUCK WORK!!!...Mmmm. My legs are still shaking!

Horoscopes...?

...setting the stage for the next act of  a reoccurring drama that possibly began in November of 2008.

I never used to pay that much attention to my horoscope till a few weeks ago. And they have lived out to  be  terrifyingly true.

DONE!

Cut my wrist, I'll learn to die
I'll say a prayer and learn to fly
All I ask is to take me away from this place
Wrap my body in lavender lace
Send my ashes off to sea
     and let my body lay with thee
Even if it's my heartbeat that you'll seek
My spirit will always be
You'll find me in someone
    Even if it's in the rising sun
I'M DONE!
Just look hard enough and you will find 
    something that's greater than mine
We never leave, we are always here
Keep me in your dreams 
And I'll always be near
Even if you wish me away, I will lay there with you
When the sun falls upon your eyes...
Through that wonder of a window...I'll be gone
The absence of you is spoken in every love song
Sirens scream, as they reach my street
Those sirens will be for me...sooner than late 
My heart has been lost within fate
Every place. Every song.
     Every photograph haunts me...I can't go on
Life's left in ruins
Unless, to my heart, you'll find the key... 

Just let me rest in peace.

Jesus should move his birthday to the spring season. Then we could finally have a white Christmas. Come on, there are more than just Christians who celebrate that day. I even know some Jews, Muslims and Jehovah Witnesses who celebrate 'christmas'. ...God is everyone and everyone is God; no matter the form you percive him as.

He's been calling me a few days out of the week. Updating me on his broken arm. Almost every year he breaks something while snowboarding and I'm usually the one who takes care of him. Not this year! Well, I guess I am in some way; helping him through the pain, with words.

I don't remember Lub being there that night!

Hold it down, Chez Roll!