Aug 28, 2013

219 large files to go through...

Pic credit: Andres Razo 

Shoot with Andres a few weeks ago finally appeared... It took about three hours to down load. Completely worth it! shoot again?... Definitely a yes! These turned out amazing, I'm having trouble posting my favorites here and what to post on MM...
Most of all...
 I don't want to delete any of Sven Ellirand's photos... I'm in love with them all! ... It may just be time to upgrade my portfolio...
Pic credit: Andres Razo


Aug 23, 2013

"You know what she said to me?...Even the most damaged hearts can be mended, I beg to disagree."


I finally had all my shit together...
                                                   and then I lost it. 

      More will be revealed. All will be revealed... all will always be revealed.  
                   I don't want to look back at the past; the negative times in my life- sometimes I need to.  

Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance- that principle is contempt prior to investigation."    -Herbert Spencer

Aug 14, 2013

Fun in the afternoon sun... and the prickly trail. 
                                 I love the softness of this one.
Pic Credit: Richard Evans
Pic Credit: Richard Evans

I completely forgot about these...
                     He just sent me a message the other night encouraging me to take another look through our shoot. We set up originally in Joshua Tree then headed to the hotel suite.

"I was just thinking  about you. I wish I was closer, when I   
come back to Cali in the spring let's shoot again."

"Ok, this time you're taking me to Death Valley." 

I've always wanted to shoot there in the spring.

Aug 8, 2013

A word from a dear friend of mine:

Jessica walk "your" path don't buy into someone else story.
Live in the present and let the future take care of itself.
Remember thought become why not think
thoughts of Good and the Divine....and that is what will follow.




Pic credit: Haily

My evening with "the girls"... 

        My little sweetheart has turned into a teen!!! Her cup size is bigger than mine and she is proud; walks up straight, shoulders back, chin high... beautiful. Natural beauty has been overthrown with silicon and  plastic surgeons. If you have natural talent you're told differently and those who "don't" are told they can have it. So, now the only question is; How do YOU define beauty? 

      Pic credit: Jyoti

Aug 7, 2013

      I shot with Andres Razo, yesterday. We started our session in Idyllwild and ended up near Pinyon. The dry heat and almost unbearable hot rocks from the afternoon sun was completely worth it. The thought of my first photo shoot in some time was full of feelings of uncertainty and apprehensive nerves which softened with his patience and kind smile.  

He enjoyed the beauty of the forest, but apparently was set on more desert shots. When driving back through Garner Valley he asked about the lake near by... yes, we past it. Coming upon it, back to Idy, we drove through the camp site. 

"Beautiful, can you swim in it?" (apparently he knows my fascination with swimming; in any body of water, but...)
"I wouldn't even let my dog swim in it!" 

The end of a solace shoot, with whom you become professionally compatible, is always crestfallen; never knowing if you will ever work together again... 

I can not wait to see the results, Sven Ellirand is the only photographer who has handed me the camera to review the work during the car ride home. "What do you think? Like anything?"

Jul 28, 2013

This is how I feel right now.
             Let's go to work! lol

Pic credit: Ken Allen

Jul 17, 2013

Happy 60 days of sobriety
Our little town is being some what threatened by this wild fire that started this last Monday afternoon. A "mandatory" evacuation was called out today while I was in Hemet. A simple trip to Hemet turned into a whirlwind of constant sounds coming from my phone- why I gave almost everyone a personalized tone, I don't know. I  couldn't even answer one with a simple yes or no before another text or call came       rolling in- interrupting. The police finally allowed me up so I could pack                  (after talking to my Dad!)~Thank You.  
This fire also ruined yesterday's photo shoot I had set with David Paquette.
We were going to be shooting around... there.  
~19000 acres burned, destroyed mobile homes, 15% CONTAINED, heading

Jul 15, 2013

                                         Mmmm.... fresh from our garden.

                                                Who's ready for dinner?

I am to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within; a growth upon a foundation of complete willingness. 
My willingness is as proportional to the amount of arrows in my ass; which is as proportional to my humiliation. 
Photo Credit: Sven Ellirand 
~`~All which I do not seek, yet have fallen upon~`~ 

         Is not our age characterized by the ease with which we discard old ideas for new, by the complete readiness with which we throw away the theory which does not work for something new which does? 

Material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded.
           My babies haven't bloomed in five years... Maybe they were waiting for sobriety, too.

                                                                                                                                                                         Alcohol is a disease of carried isolation. It engulfs you in a cloud of dark pins and needles. Until hidden disaster shows face, one stays in ignorant bliss.  
            The light eventually emerges, unexpectedly at the necessary  time. True colors show and your waken by realism. ~My new life has blossomed.

Jun 29, 2013

I will not regret...I will not remorse...I will not retrace...I will not reconcile...I will not retreat...I will not regress...I will not rewind...

The past is non-existent  as is the future.

I will recover.