Mar 31, 2011

Everyone I call does not seem to care about what is going on in my life!!!! 

...they answer their phones and then it's all about what they are doing. I can't take it anymore; I need someone there for me, I want someone to hold me...I'm tired of holding others.

I know it's my fault; I have been conditioned to be the person they call upon for- anything. 

I know this sounds selfish; but I've never had it.

...still makes me wonder... IS everything perfect!

"...things that made her feel real, black and white prints of photos from an exhibit in Pittsburgh."

" shot of the railroad... a train passing by-still made her smile."

"...even if she saw it through the lens, they never showed up on the film. Yet, she enjoyed the process of taking the photos enough that she was glad she'd tried the experiment." 
"Focus. Control."

I just recieved an awesome phone call!

My pics from two weeks ago are almost done! The negatives are all ready to be developed. All I can say is that I can't wait to work in the dark room again.  

This photographer is the only one I've modeled for that still works with film; and large format for that matter. I have only worked in a dark room twice so this should be fun! 

I can't wait till Sunday!!!

Solid Pro

I met with Tom from Solid Pro, and he is...

 A very professional photographer, that I have shot with  twice and in many different locations.
  He has a very unique quality; influenced by the beauty of Zen.  

I hope to work with him again!
On the bright side it's a perfectly sunny day. Finally we have met 80 degree weather!

Who wants to go nude tanning!? 

Excuse my negativity...

I'm not usually like this, but the past few days I've been in a hole.
I know I dug it; but I can't seem to get out.

Why can't I just have a normal relationship...

This PAST is driving me crazy~~!

My love (oh sorry, he's not a possession; just someone I see going home to every night)  is accomplishing a major goal in his life and I appreciate that. I've encouraged that...

I've tried to accept it...I'm trying to accept it...I need to learn to accept it.

But today i can't. I'M neglected for his past sex life.