I've finally downsized! In All most every aspect of my life… shoes, clothes, the abundance in room mates and the amount of food I have had to
keep in my refrigerator. The food thing was due to living in a house full of addicts who carried their thievery aspect of “survival” with them into treatment. There was always something missing of mine: bananas, ice cream, salad dressing, tampons and peanut butter. OMG! The peanut butter! I wasn't the only victim of peanut butter theft. Tubs upon tubs were stolen weekly. We could never figure out who or how these large amounts of peanut butter were disappearing. Now I’m living in peace and tranquility. I actually enjoy coming home from work everyday! And the best part is shooting. Scheduling photo shoots whenever and where ever I please and not having to tip toe around my modeling subject is just amiable. I finally have a sense of civilized freedom. I share an apartment with my friend Beany, who has shown great interest in modeling for me yet getting her out there is problematic. One day, some day.
Moving day was exciting. One of our more drastic days of monsoon season; streets flooded, power outages which all led to incompetent drivers. This experience has made me question whether or not to up my insurance policy! Three trips to Starbucks and Target we made our apartment semi livable. Bottom line- our idea of “standard of living” is too high! Our list of house hold items still to buy is so large we decided to group it into categories because our income only excels to necessities. Another ‘one day, some day’ I’ll be living modestly yet comfortable!
It is year number two... the 2nd year of his birthday celebrations with my absence. This time last year he was telling my mom I don't deserve him. He doesn't deserve to be treated like shit, and that he wanted my shit out of his place. We have done a complete 180 on the love addict Vs love avoidant spectrum this past year. It is rare to find absolute balance in any relationship but this relationship has been such a fucked up roller coaster- one which you would have to ask before boarding, "Is this ride really still operating!?" 
In 2009 I made a decision. This decision did not play out the way it did in my mind. Instead of coping with my unhappiness rationally I turned to temporary comfort. One that led me further and further away from reality all together. I fucked my life and in return your's was squandered in the process. 
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