Double Killer

I look back on this poem from years ago. I had won a poem contest in high school, it was centered around drug and alcohol control. Should I have not paid attention to my own words!? Sadly, my last year's car crash experience did not go like this...but the rest of my life did. I lost the most important person in my life over a bad day with vodka. I'm the biggest fool.

All I hear are sirens
All I feel is pain
All I see is my love...
lying dead in the rain

I lift up his head
And softly kiss his cheek
I whisper, I love you
While his heartbeat I seek

People line the street
Along with shattered glass
Police surround , cars slowly pass

I hold on tight
As tears run down my face
I know then, this is our last embrace

Before they take him from me
I grasp him by his hand
Holding up his finger, I remove his class band

I hold it to my heart, looking towards the night sky
I blow him a kiss
Saying my last goodbye

The love of my life left me many things
All of our times together along with his class ring

If the car didn't hit us
If he didn't drink or drive
Then the love of my life would still be alive

Not only did the alcohol take one life, it took two
It's a double killer
It killed the other driver, too.

Drivers under the influence
Teenagers in love
Two lives taken up to the heavens above

Tears-uncontrollable
Standing in the rain
I kiss the casket, my heart filled with pain

There once was a world
And a daughter lived in it
The clock ticked away, minute by minute
The girl grew taller, lovelier, stronger
And woudn't be just a girl for too much longer
Years past...Time flew by in a flash

Graduation day came, life just the same
Off to college, saying thier farewells
not knowing what to expect...

Next day in hell.

The phone rang at six o'clock
Not a minute sooner
Right on the dot
The other end brought sounds of screaming sirens and pain
Along with the background of the pouring rain

They rushed to the scene, cars slowly passed
And there she lay among shattered glass.

Hold them tight within your arms, you'll never know the day they will be gone.

To see you hurt...to see you cry
Makes me weep and want to die
And if you agree to never fight, it wouldn't matter who's wrong or right
If a broken heart needs a mend
I'll be right there, until the end
If your cheeks are wet from drops of tears
Don't you worry...Let go of your fears
Hand in hand love is sent
We will make it for what it's meant.

What happened? You have a beautiful body. Balls up, love. I have!

I was given this ring as a 'promise ring' ...LOL. Promise 4 what? A life time of comfort, well not for me. We were together for five years and it didn't last, so why would it now? Last Sunday he broke his wrist while snowboarding and I was the first person he called. Well, I was not available for his call till my Mom had told me he had been trying to reach me, so I returned his call. ...No answer. By then I heard he was in surgery. !

~~~Last October I had more than an epic experience with him. Not to bore you with the details... He ended up throwing my ring because I was done with being attached with someone who was not here for me what so ever (I spent the night watching him pole dance with his ex after he had invited me there). Well, he didn't throw it too far. I was cleaning my car today and found it bound between the seats!

I would love to know more of photography, but now I'm in front of the camera!? I love doing it, but not just for anyone. I can't find one other photographer who seems legit. This experience is becoming redondant.

BEAUTIFUL.

"Photography has granted him a language. The human body has provided him with a subject. "

What is this lion smoking!?!? ...This was from my PG Vegas trip for my birthday at the MGM Grand. When I was there about ten years ago the show case was with white tigers, beautiful! This however, was lazy and boring. These two mates just lay around all day, except when they moved closer towards each other for comfort. The tiny movements they made had everyone watching in awe..SERIOUSLY? Go to Africa if you wanna see some lions interact!...you're in Vegas and you spend your time watching lions when there is so much more going on outside!!!? I snapped a few shots and got the fuck out of that stupidity. I wish I have had the courage to shoot the expressions on the people's face who were standing around the exhibit. The sad part is...this was one of my highlights of the vaca. SAD! I need to go back with some fun loving people.

...I NEED SOME NEW PICS!!!

Kiss me...so I can bite you! Sry, I just love you so much. (my cat taught me how to show affection) LOL... I've had this pretty kitty for five years now and the only affection he shows towards anyone is with a bite.

My love was at my house the other night and I hear an "OWE, he bit me." I kinda laughed and replyed with, he loves you.

where did you go, my friend?...I guess we were never that close. We were only inseparable for 4 months. then she got a boyfriend. So, basically I was only her temporary entertainment. She cornered me at my birthday bash and started balling to me about how much she missed me and that everything she saw or did reminded her of me...So why aren't u here? This happened on the second night of my birthday weekend(I had to work that night and got to come home to this!?!?) at one point during her cry fest I look over to see an empty bottle of JD on the counter...OOOOH! She's drunk! Muah.

DROP IT...smile.

Life has been more calm these past few days without his negative phone calls (and his random rage that he would take out on my love) Why was I keeping him in my life at all. Our talks would be purely of our 'new found' friendship, and then he goes and pulls stunts like that!?!? ...Just holding on to something that was there. Let Go Of The Past. Enjoy the present and the new life that's beginning. I know I Have been! This year will be the best yet. I'm keeping myself full of journeys:new places and new faces and best of all, sharing it with Him.

Happy Belated New Years!!!

Went out with one and woke up with three on my couch...and not speaking of just the bottles!